Home already?

It's crazy to think that our 5 weeks have come to an end. It feels like I just got picked up from airport, and before I knew it I was being dropped off. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way, just ask any of the other 9 crew members. I know for our family and friends back home it felt like an eternity, but time flies.

There's a bittersweet tension between leaving the mission field and going back home. These five weeks have stretched me beyond my ability to be stretched. God worked in mysterious ways and his hand and presence were evident throughout our trip. Going back is always difficult after forming so many relationships and bonds with the people we've been serving with and the people we got to meet along the way. As my fiend Iexa puts it "we were once strangers, now we're family".

Throughout the trip, I tried imagining what it would be like going back home. Being away from home for 5 weeks is not something new for me, but for some reason it was much harder this time remembering life back home. Every time I travel whether for mission or leisure, I fall in love with the unpredictability and excitement of doing something new. I easily get bored and sometimes easily frustrated with the routine life I have: wake up, go to school/church, do some ministry, hang out a bit, sleep and repeat. I always long to go back home to a different life routine where I don't feel like a robot. But wouldn't that mean that I'm loosing sight of the mission I have at home just a much as the mission I have overseas?

Ever heard of the term "mission high"? Where someone goes on a mission trip, has an amazing encounter, goes back home and is on fire to change the world...yeah...I don't want that. I want a real change. I want to show and display Christ every waking moment...that's what I'm called to do anyways. And I pray that all the revelations God has given each of us during these 5 weeks keep burning in our hearts until we carry them out. I pray that we're always on a mission high, that it's so engraved in our character that it becomes natural to us.

A lot of us are going back home not sure what awaits us. Some are starting college, some are moving back home, some are just trying to finish the last stretch of college, and some have no idea. I feel like I fit in all there categories. I found myself trying to find something to worry about while I was on the trip. I found myself trying to worry about whether I go back to a job or not. Whether I need to look and apply for a new job. Whether this or whether that. Right there and then I caught myself and stopped worrying. I started praising instead. I started praising and thanking God for giving me the opportunity to become part of Emmaus. I started thanking God for his faithfulness. I started thanking God for his work in my life. I thanked God for simply being who he is. Isn't it beautiful that the hands that created the universe holds my future? Isn't it beautiful that God of the universe is taking care of my life, including every single small detail? 

Thank goodness I don't have control over my own life or it would've been a disaster. I am rest assured and comforted in the fact that God has everything in control. That everything happens for the good of those who love. Everything. That includes my going to Central America and my coming back home. That includes the past, the future, and the now. I started writing this blog unsure of how I would be feeling going back home, but now as I end it, I realize I'm excited! The same excitement I had when I was on my way to Guatemala. I'm excited to go back home and share my experience and the goodness of God. But I'm most excited about seeing God's hands continuously moving and shaping me as I grow more in His love and word.